What is a Life Coach?

What is a Life Coach?

What is a Life Coach – and do I need one?

There are 2 questions within the title of this article and obviously the former needs to be explained to ascertain the latter. These are only two of many questions that are asked though about life coaching and so I’m going to answer some important ones to see if I can be of assistance to you – assuming you need me at all? Well, let’s find out… 

What is a Life Coach?

In technical terminology, according to Wikipedia “Life coaching is the process of helping people identify and achieve personal goals through developing skills and attitudes that lead to self-empowerment. Life coaching generally deals with issues such as work-life balance and career changes, and often occurs outside the workplace setting.”’

To elaborate on the definition, what does renowned Life Coach Anthony Robbins have to say about it? “The life coach definition is someone professionally trained to help you maximize your full potential and reach your desired results. They are like a supportive friend and a trusted adviser rolled into one. They’re someone who will push you to identify your goals, hold you accountable and provide encouragement throughout your journey to become a better version of yourself.”

My definition is that life coaching is a solution focussed approach to personal development that can make meaningful change in all areas of your life and ultimately lead you to be a happier person through balance and a life of purpose. A life coach makes you aware of your own abilities, strengths and weaknesses and teaches you to leverage these to arouse the incredibly strong being that lives inside each of us.

Whatever definition you chose, they all do align, and all lead to another frequently asked question which is “Well, isn’t this what therapists do?” Actually, they are not the same.

What is the difference between a Life Coach and a Therapist?

The essential difference is that Life Coaches are not medical professionals and have not been trained to treat many areas of mental health like mood disorders, anxiety disorders, addiction, or any other of the typically less serious mental health conditions.

Counselling, sometimes referred to as psychotherapy, is generally a long-term process involving a healthcare professional who attempts to diagnose and resolve problematic issues like unusual behaviour, relationship concerns, traumatic feelings and sometimes even physical responses. Phycologists focus on traumas that can lead to self-destructive habits and try to treat these by working through painful feelings.

So as one can see from the definition of the Life Coach, the issues and methods are quite different, in that one is about healing trauma and the other about simply creating a more meaningful life. Wellness as opposed to completeness.

As a matter of interest though, there are a few body, mind and soul practitioners who combine life coaching with trauma counselling through TRE, and through combining physical and general wellbeing disciplines they can assist with releasing trauma and developing a better life as a consequence of it. I happen to be one of these, but more about me later. 

Who needs a life coach?

So we come to the third crucial question – “Do I need a life Coach?” Well, I doubt that many people don’t want to become the best that they can be, but this is not the only reason people consult with Life Coaches. 

Although most Life Coaches don’t deal with the mental health issues that therapists do there are many other emotional problems from which we can be suffering and which can indicate that the lives we are living are not what they should be. 

The list is a long one, but let’s look at just a few of the most important issues you may be facing that would indicate that you may benefit greatly from consulting a life Coach… 

You are just not sure what you want – Do you know how few people can answer the simple question “what do you want?” This is the first question that needs to be answered to set you on a course to a more meaningful, purposeful life – and your Life Coach can help you to answer it.  

Stress and anxiety – This is the single biggest issue facing most people who live in the fast-paced society that we do today. Work or family stress can be largely attributed to simply not understanding that the solution lies in the creation of balance in one’s life. Life Coaches are specialists at advising people on how to minimise stress.

Time management issues – How many times have you said, “There just aren’t enough hours in the day?” Actually, there are if you understand effective time management – one of the most important and helpful things you will learn from a Life Coach.

Lack of fulfilment and creativity – You don’t need to be mentally ill to have these feelings. These are generally prevalent when you are in the wrong job or living a lie in your personal life. A Life Coach can pull you out of this funk.

Feeling bad about yourself – Being unable to break bad habits, making bad decisions, constantly messing up in the same areas of your life and general dissatisfaction with yourself are all signs that you haven’t found the better you that lives inside you. A good, empathetic life Coach can help!

Physical exhaustion – Are you constantly stressed, tired, listless and feeling out of shape, but not a ‘gym’ kind of person? The good news is that Life Coaches do deal with the dietary and physical aspects of a lifestyle that is less than ideal as well.

How can I help?

I am Marléne Nunes, the Founder/Owner of ‘Self and more,’ serving businesses and individuals in the Western Cape and beyond in the virtual realm. Having suffered and overcome significant setbacks and challenges of my own I believe that knowing who we are, our capabilities and our true life’s purpose are the keys to a life of success, optimum health, happiness and real meaning.

I can assist you through combining Life coaching with passive, mentally aligned body, mind and soul disciplines to not only overcome all the many challenges we face in life but assist with trauma and increased physical wellbeing too.

Talk to me – that’s my life’s purpose – so let me help you to fulfil yours!

Control and release – both are the key to sweet relief

Control and release – both are the key to sweet relief

This title may seem confusing to you. Certainly control and release are contradictory terms and yet it requires both of these after a period of trauma to ultimately experience peace of mind and a purposeful life.

This certainly was the case for me, and it was a message of a cry for help that led me to a solution after a childhood of rejection and despair and a young adulthood that was leading me along a path of self-destruction.

In my last article ‘Is your past dictating your now?’ I left my readers with a promise to reveal how I managed to piece together a life that was teetering on the brink. I am reminded of the Elton John song ‘Candle in the wind’ when I think of where I was then, and I have no doubt that many of us feel as if we are constantly facing elements that may extinguish the flame of hope that burns inside us.

The desire to take control of your situation is step 1

The concern of a good friend and my promise to her to seek help before I tried to take my own life again could have been what really saved me. It is often the realisation that your life is worth saving as pointed out by someone else that is a turning point for trauma sufferers and those with addictions.

As is pointed out by AA, we need to understand the things that we can control and release that over which we have no control. The same basic principles apply to trauma patients too, and as my story reveals, it was through taking control of my situation and releasing my trauma that I became the controlled, balanced person that I am today, able to assist others to do the same.

The ability to release your trauma is step 2

After the promise to my friend, and many years of struggling to keep the promise,  I sent out my social media message literally crying out for help. My answer came in the form of a Life Coaching institution which help me to realise that the pieces of my life could be put together differently.

Further along that path I realised that deep routed trauma cannot be healed only cognitively but we also need to be physically healed and that is when I discovered the works and teachings of Dr David Berceli and began practicing and becoming an exponent of TRE – or Trauma Release Exercises.

Now with the help of this series of gentle release exercises I realised that we hold onto trauma and we need to find ways to release them to begin to fully heal.

Incorporating body, mind and soul is the final step

It was through my own experiences and ultimate triumph that I realised that body mind and soul are all inextricably intertwined and so I began my practice Self and More incorporating TRE®, Pilates, QEC, Coaching and Soul Plan.

Ultimately, I believe those who have read this article have not done so without reason. We all suffer a collective form of trauma as we go through this life and it may not have been a cry for help that led you to me, but it was at least to gain some form of attaining a more meaningful life and purposeful existence. Talk to me – I believe I can help.  

Stay safe – and stay in the self!

 

It’s time to float – not swim against the current

It’s time to float – not swim against the current

As someone whose life is about facilitating ways for others to overcome challenges, realise their best attributes and live a meaningful, positive life, I hear about a lot of concern in times such as these.

We are being bombarded by continually bad news and living through events that often make us feel like we have little or no control. We have been thrust into the second year of a pandemic that has been strengthened by developing a second strain, often thrown into the dark by Eskom, and as a result of the turmoil of last year, many of us are facing financially difficult times too.

Breathe – and float.

OK, so that’s where we all stand. Let’s take a deep breath – and look at sensible ways to deal with this. So, many of us are thinking – “what are we going to do about it?” Well, more often than not it is trying to control and fight against forces greater than us that just get us further into our state of panic or despair.

Many of life’s greatest lessons are learned by simply observing certain laws of nature. Those who step into quicksand will only sink deeper the more they struggle. Those who try to swim against a strong current will tire and possibly drown but had they simply floated they would have been eventually carried by the tides back to shore. Right now – it’s time to float – not swim against the current!

We need to try to avoid making our current predicament something much greater than it needs to be. We will all react differently and we are all feeling the impact of what is happening in different ways but a few general rules could help us all…

Don’t control – accept and bend

When torrential winds blow only the mighty oak with a massive root system will withstand it – or the supple palm which bends so far that it appears to be bowing to the greater force. What will you do?

 Are you so deeply rooted that you can withstand anything? Well few of us are – so take your lead from the Palm. Don’t try to control or change the situation. Accept that it is happening, make sensible contingency plans and calmly accept that ‘it is what it is.’ Console yourself with the knowledge that history has shown us that all things eventually pass.

Fight fear

Fear is the toughest thing we all have to fight, but fear can also be good. It warns us to not do anything stupid. Rather fear the virus than go to parties not wearing a mask, but whatever you do – don’t live with fear to the extent that you ignore having a life at all! 

Rather simply ask yourself ‘So what’s the worst that can happen?’ Invariably when you ponder that question you will realise there is less to fear than you think. If you are a spiritual person who believes in a higher power you might find that fear is easier to overcome – it’s up to you how you do it – but don’t succumb to it.

Spread positive energy

It only takes a few people to spread positive energy to thousands and even millions of others. Be one of these people. Don’t allow negative people into your life and when you have no option then stand firmly against negative utterings, countering with positive ones. Remember that perceptions are inevitably projected onto others, so don’t let others project negative perceptions onto you. 

Let’s start 2021 on a positive footing

So many people are already throwing up their arms in surrender to 2021, believing it is just an extension of 2020 – well it isn’t. It is just a series of days and months on a calendar. What matters is that in every day in any year you have your own positive energy, finding solutions to your problems and not fearing the future.

Talk to me if you are fearing the coming year or doubting where your future lies – or if you are the leader of a team of people that needs to overcome negative perceptions and fear and start 2021 on a positive footing!

My business is Self and More, spawned by my successful triumph over my own past challenges and based on the belief that every individual is unique, special, uniquely gifted and deserves a satisfying meaningful life.

Float – don’t swim against the current – and this storm too shall pass. Have a spectacular year and be safe!

Enter 2021 with a mind-set that will serve you well

Enter 2021 with a mind-set that will serve you well

2020 was a year probably most of us will choose to forget. Filled with unexpected twists and turns, some of them gut-wrenching from a psychological point of view, some so stressful they led to broken marriages and disrupted families and sadly innumerable physical destruction, both as a direct result of the COVID-19 virus or through stress and the inability to cope.

There are millions of people on the planet whose lives have been totally disrupted, they have lost loved ones, jobs businesses and worst of all even family members, so how on earth do we go into another year that currently promises more of the same, with a positive, constructive mind-set?

Well, I’m that irritating ‘glass half full’ person that believes we can if we choose to – so if you’re willing to try, these are four important questions you need to answer to ensure you will enter 2021 with a mind-set that will serve you well…

What did 2020 make you feel?

Yes, the old Psychoanalyst’s question ‘how did that make you feel?’ is an important one. It is essential that we are honest about this and don’t do what so many do and say “Well it is what it is” and sweep it under the carpet.

For heaven’s sake, many of us were for the first time were made to realise that we are not really in control of our own lives. We were merrily going about our business when ‘wham!’ the rug was pulled out from under us and we were all forced into a state of compromise and acceptance of something bigger than all of us. 

That is pretty shattering in itself – so I ask again “How did it make you feel?” Angry, hopeless, scared, terrified, and bitter? Or maybe you were a little relieved that you were given something of a change from the humdrum of normality?

Maybe you were happy with spending more time at home and did some fun stuff together with the family. Maybe you learned to cook, or garden, or read more. Yes, if you think about it, it probably it wasn’t all bad. So that’s the good stuff you must own now, pack it in your 2021 rucksack and take it with you.

How can you release the bad stuff?

Having decided to take some of the positive aspects of 2020 with you, now you need to release the things that were holding you back and stifling you in that time. 

Usually, this is primarily an acceptance of change. Prolific American author Joseph Campbell said, “We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” 

Accept that things do change and we have to change with them. Those most affected by what happened in 2020 were those with the most resistance to change. Those who embrace change immediately searched for alternate lifestyles, businesses and better ways of communication.     

 What do you choose to feel in 2021?

I love this quotation from Isabel Gillies, Author of ‘Happens Every Day: An All Too True Story’ – “I believe in love. I believe in hard times and love winning. I believe marriage is hard. I believe people make mistakes. I believe people can want two things at once. I believe people are selfish and generous at the same time. I believe very few people want to hurt others. I believe that you can be surprised by life. I believe in happy endings.”

It is not that anything she says is profound, but it is refreshingly honest. The reality is that we only find freedom when we can be true to our own feelings – and we own these thoughts, so choose what you want to feel in 2021. Receive the hand you are dealt with gratitude – at least you’re still in the game!

How will you receive whatever it brings?

So, how will you receive whatever 2021 is going to dish up? Will you be more prepared this time if 2021 isn’t what we hope it will be? Are you ready now to accept that the world inside us is not necessarily the world around us?

Life is a balance. Maybe 2021 will be more of the same but it will just mean more light at the end of a longer tunnel. Whatever the outcome, it will change eventually – as does everything else. 

An attitude of gratitude

Prepare your entry into 2021 with an attitude of gratitude for all the blessings you have – and try to have a balanced life – there should always be time for you – and equal time for the other.

To be balanced, lead a life that encompasses a holistic approach – including body, mind and soul, to finally experience the Self and More!

I am always there for you – and truly grateful for your support and what I have learned from you this year. I sincerely wish you all a blessed festive season and happiness and prosperity in 2021 – Whatever it may bring!

How to manage the stress of renovations

How to manage the stress of renovations

Stress comes in many forms, with the death of a loved one, divorce, moving and financial stresses being rated amongst the highest. Another highly stressful event (probably in the top ten) is that of doing home renovations.

With the pandemic drawing us all into our homes to conduct our work, and thousands of people subsequently realising that working from home has many advantages, home renovations are popular right now, but many are not prepared for the kind of stress that this can trigger.

Having recently undergone home renovations myself I realised that there are a few simple ways to reduce the stress of renovating. I hope you find them useful – they certainly assisted me to prevent pulling my hair out and facing a charge of manslaughter!

Get the right crew 

I have made this the first point because I cannot overestimate its importance. Get recommendations and references from people who have done successful renovations with crews that they know and trust. Remember there are often a few different aspects to the whole operation, so choosing the right network of accomplished people is essential. 

Communication is key

Like with any relationship, peace is dependent on good communication. Ensure you will have one point of contact throughout the project if you have one builder who is appointing sub-contractors. This is the best way to go because he becomes accountable to you and all the other contractors are accountable to him. 

Minimising the communication stream with one individual with whom you communicate well will help negotiations. At the same time, make sure your contact point educates the team that they are entering your space and introduces you to the whole team so you can communicate with them individually when necessary.

Control your anger 

Be aware from the outset that if you lose your cool when people don’t seem to be responding to you, you will come off looking like the bad guy and communication will deteriorate as the project goes on.

Once again that’s why it’s so important to have that one point of contact. I have several anger management techniques if you feel yourself being angered easily, but a general rule of thumb is to exercise that old method of ‘counting to 10’ and asking yourself if it’s really necessary to react before engaging with anyone.

Have confidence and understanding

Remember that if you have chosen the right people the renovators will know what they are doing. When you get frustrated ask yourself if the frustration is really necessary, or possibly just because you don’t understand what the crew are doing. Ask questions before exploding!

Also, remember that tradespeople are just people too – some of the nicest people – so have some patience with them. If they appear to be a bit ‘off’ to you, they may be suffering frustrations of their own.

Avoid the misleading mindset

Remember that you have probably heard a thousand times that renovations are a ‘nightmare,’ so avoid going into this with a misleading pre-emptive mindset. Make up your mind that your renovations will be different and have a positive outcome.

If you choose the right crew who will go the extra mile, have one good point of communication and conduct yourself as someone who is understanding and open to suggestions, the chances are that this will not be the stressful event you expected it to be.

Through my business Self and More, I assist people to deal with stress and improve themselves through a holistic body, mind and soul approach. I hope you have found this helpful and don’t hesitate to contact me if I can help you to deal with whatever stressful situations you may be facing.

Be kind to yourself – and stay safe!

 

 

Starting anew is all about you – not seasonal, but personal – part 2

Starting anew is all about you – not seasonal, but personal – part 2

I seldom write on any subject in 2 parts, but the issue of ‘starting anew’ and transformation is such a big one and so important at this critical time following the pandemic, that it seemed appropriate to do so.

Many of us have had to reassess our lives and our futures, some of us in massive ways. The change of a job, or having to sell a home, or emotional issues that have arisen from being in close confines with each other, are all possible casualties of what we have just experienced.

It is vitally important for our mental and emotional well-being that we approach this ‘starting anew’ in the right way. As the title says – it may be spring, but starting anew is all about you – not seasonal, but personal.

As I mentioned in the first part of the article I learned some interesting things from the observations of Dr Barton Goldsmith PhD on this subject. I mentioned a couple of them to you and here are a couple more you may find useful …

Starting over is not always by choice

These trying times have meant that many of us have had to start over as opposed to choosing to start over. Avoid becoming angry about this, accepting life does sometimes take turns you don’t expect – and don’t feel bad if you need to get help. Just remember you can always help those who are helping you now somewhere down the line.

Starting over presents new opportunities

Sometimes when you are forced to try something new it can be a good thing. It requires acquiring new skills – and this can never be bad. Change is inevitable. Whether it is happening now or at some other time it will happen – so embrace it – at your own pace and in your own way, but don’t try to just ignore it.

Transforming at one’s own pace

As far as my own observations are concerned, as I said in part 1:  “We had to radically change our way of thinking and our behaviour to align with COVID-19 and the ensuing lockdown. Just as that transformation had to be at one’s own pace, we should, at our own pace and within our emotional capabilities, begin to start again.”

This is really the essence of the message. Transformation should never be measured by anyone else’s pace and there is no ‘norm’ when it comes to stating anew. For us to go from just surviving to thriving after such an event we need to understand what we have learned from this time. If you are not sure, that is exactly what I may be able to assist you with, as it often takes an objective viewpoint to reveal such things.

Get on the bus

Having ascertained that, we do need to keep moving forward, but we must remember it is like getting on a bus, the final destination of which we don’t know. It doesn’t really matter, as long as we go only as far as we want to – and get off where we want to go!

Within my business Self and More, through combining body, mind and soul techniques and practices I can assist you to become aware of your innermost feelings, strength and weaknesses to become transformed as a highly effective individual with a meaningful life and a true purpose.

Talk to me and let’s see if we can take this journey together. In the meantime keep being the unique and special person that you are – and keep safe!

Starting anew is all about you – not seasonal, but personal – part 1

Starting anew is all about you – not seasonal, but personal – part 1

As we emerge from our COVID-19 cocoons we are constantly reminded of the importance of starting over – starting fresh – starting anew! Especially as we move into spring, we are told it is a time of renewal and new beginnings – now is the time to sow the seeds for the harvest we hope to reap in the summer. 

Well, certainly there are seasons in nature and a circle of life. From sowing sperm to childbirth and ultimately to reaching a ‘ripe’ old age when, hopefully, if we have learned enough, we can offer at least some digestible wisdom to those who will restart the cycle.

Starting anew, however, I would contend, is not seasonal. If anything it is potentially emotionally hazardous to fall into the trap of being told that because we have reached the end of a cycle of events it is time for personal change.

Starting again after the pandemic will be a very different experience for each of us and should be treated as such.

Some ‘starting over’ advice 

Each individual has to sow and reap within their comfort zone and at their own pace. I read some interesting material in an excellent article by Dr Barton Goldsmith PhD about starting over. Although nothing is quoted verbatim, some reference is made to this as I echo a few of the observations aligned with the gist of this article.

Progress is not dissimilar to climbing a flight of stairs 

Every individual has their own way. Some may be in shape to leap up two steps at a time, some may fear heights and take it one step at a time, occasionally even going back a step until they have, within their comfort zone, reached the top.

Regression can spawn new beginnings

You may have suffered some bad losses in the pandemic – loss of a job, a business or even a home. Remember though that life does go on and sometimes change can be the start of something spectacular! You do need to get re-started but do what feels right to you.

Set your own ‘new norm.’

Emerging from the feelings and physical changes that the pandemic has engendered within us is something deeply personal and one should not be coerced into going along with what we are being told is the ‘new norm.’

We had to radically change our way of thinking and our behaviour to align with COVID-19 and the ensuing lockdown. Just as that transformation had to be at one’s own pace, so should we, at our own pace and within our emotional capabilities, begin to start again.

Let me help

It is essential that we can express what we have learned and experienced in the past few months and that is where I believe I can assist. Through my business Self and More I offer personal coaching and several body, mind and soul disciplines that assist individuals to align with their real purpose in life.

This comes through an understanding of what you want, your strengths and weaknesses and transformation from within – at your own pace! Watch this space for part 2 on this subject – and in the interim talk to me and let me help you to sow in your season and reap when you’re ready to. Be safe – and always in the self!

 

Gender equality is found in altering perceptions and self- empowerment

Gender equality is found in altering perceptions and self- empowerment

It was just a few months ago, ironically on the threshold of the lockdown, that we celebrated International Women’s day, where the main theme was the attainment of global gender equality, through self-empowerment. This month we have been celebrating our National Women’s Month and more than ever we have been shown how necessary this initiative is.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, almost 2/3rds of the jobs that were lost were by women. Certainly, women are the primary nurturers and in two-income homes would have been assigned to be the ones who focussed on the housebound children, but this still pointed squarely to gender equality. In a country where many children are fatherless, just imagine the impact on the women who are the sole breadwinners!

Change must be actioned

We can’t sit around simply waiting for things to change on their own as gender equality is something that women have been seeking for many generations and probably will continue to do so for many years to come. Without a doubt, women need to, through their own self-empowerment, action this change.

Shining examples 

If we look at some of the women who have been great role models for other women, we see a kind of common strength and resilience, but it doesn’t belie their femininity.

Recently Former Vice President Joe Biden, the presumptive nominee for President of the United States, announced that he had selected Senator Kamala Harris of California as his running mate for the next elections – the first black American woman to be in such a position. Harris is an inspiration and there have been many others – like Mother Theresa, Brené Brown, Oprah Winfrey and a personal favourite – Eleanor Roosevelt.

Eleanor inspired women with quotes like “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” and “Do what you feel in your heart to be right for you’ll be criticized anyway.” In essence, both these statements beckon women to take ownership of who they are. Unless they do that the perception that men have of them will not change.

Shifting perceptions is the key

D.H. Lawrence once remarked that “The future of humanity will be decided not by relations between nations, but by relations between women and men.” The problems that we face regarding gender equality goes right back to perceptions that are formed as children and young adults. We need to change these perceptions if women are to accept their own power and men are to respect that they possess it.

We need to examine what we are teaching our Sons and Daughters. If the sole objective for the young woman is the home with the picket fence and a subservient role as the homemaker – and the young man is not taught a healthy respect for women, or to see her as an equal in every respect, we cannot expect gender equality to just happen.

Women need to stop feeling like the weaker sex – to realise that they have a position of great influence and responsibility in the home or the workplace and they are capable of making the same choices as male counterparts.

Overcoming obstacles in the self

Through my personal coaching and TRE sessions in my business Self and More, I help women and men to shift the filtered perceptions about each other and empower themselves. In so doing, they build better relationships and become more satisfied and self-sufficient individuals.

Women don’t need to wear business suits and high heels to impress men and men don’t need to feel threatened by any woman who doesn’t! I’m here for you, to hear you and assist you to embrace and incorporate body, mind and soul to create one balanced holistic human being. Let me help. Stay in the self – and stay safe! 

Building resilience through knowing the self

Building resilience through knowing the self

The Oxford dictionary defines resilience as ‘the ability of people or things to recover quickly after something unpleasant, such as shock, injury, etc.’ – certainly a quality we could all benefit from in these troubled times.

If you ever believed that resilience is something you are born with or inherited however and it will only serve you as you go through life, there is much evidence to support that you are very wrong.

 

In an excellent paper from the Garrison Institute on ‘The human dimensions of resilience,’ they state that “resilience skills can serve to buffer individuals and communities from the many negative effects of stress…Resilient individuals are not just “lucky accidents.” Those who possess resilience share certain qualities that can be identified and learned, among them, confidence, emotional regulation and mental flexibility.”

So resilience, like most attributes can be developed and I believe that building resilience through knowing the self – is in everyone’s grasp – but we’ll get to that.

The paper goes on to say that the skills and attitudes of resilience can be transmitted from one person to another through social networks and that these skills will themselves strengthen social bonds and therefore communities!

Resilience has an infectious quality

It is very clear if one is to believe this then that the building and spreading of resilience are found in the self and transmitted to the other, not unlike the principle of ‘Ubuntu.’ Just as Ubuntu expounds that ‘oneness’ is found in the collective being optimistic, courageous, self-confident and even-minded in all circumstances – resilience is no doubt one of these qualities. 

In essence, the resilience that has served us to face this Covid-19 pandemic together is as infectious as the virus itself and will in years to come be seen as one of the positive aspects of the pandemic.

There is no doubt, therefore, that the building of resilience is a great asset both to the individual and the community at large and as a facilitator of various practices that holistically build body mind and soul, it is my experience that one of the strongest and most successful ways to do so is through developing and understanding of the self.

In my practice, there has been an encouraging resurge at this time in the popularity of ‘soul plan’ readings and with everyone’s need to deal with stress through being stronger and more self-aware this is a good way to achieve it.

The details of what a ‘soul plan’ reading accomplishes can be found on my website, but in essence, it is about discovering your talents, strength and weaknesses so that you can plan a future based on those strengths and develop weaker areas through having more self-awareness. 

Revealing the self

Attributes like resilience are developed just like any other and it is my belief that the Soul plan readings achieve this, but also that it is the facilitation and the methods I use that lead to better self-awareness. 

I hold your hand through the unravelling of your foundation and like peeling the layers of an onion, through listening and guiding, I reveal your real self to you. 

Living in the moment

The change can be astounding and instantaneous. Like a light switch being thrown, your enlightenment can immediately begin to lead you down a better path. The human brain is capable of changing over 70% of its thought patterns in a single day. It is the NOW that matters, so ‘carpe diem’ – seize the day – Contact me and let me help you to start building resilience through knowing the self. Stay positive and stay safe!

 

Is your unconscious focus leading your mind and body astray?

Is your unconscious focus leading your mind and body astray?

The recent total lockdown situation resulting from the dreadful COVID-19 pandemic, something that is still very much with us, lead me to think about ‘focusing.’ It is very possible at this time that as much as we are going through the motions of a normal life, getting on with our work, tending to the family etc, certain of our actions may well be driven by a deep seated fear of the proximity and possible consequences of this virus for all us.

This article is not intended to dwell on the pandemic however, enough has been said about it in my previous articles, but it is a good example of negative ‘focusing.’ This is not just what we focus on consciously, but ‘focusing’ is actually a name for a practice and therapy that has been around for some time.

What is focussing?

In the words of ‘Focussing Resources,’ – “Focusing is a way of tapping into your vast emotional intelligence through the messages of your body. With Focusing, you return to a source of knowing that has always belonged to you. Focusing gives you direct access to your own inner compass, where you know the right direction for your life. Focusing works because life naturally wants to move forward and find new possibilities. Sometimes we get stuck because we get cut off from that natural life forward energy.”

Where did it begin?

The same journal tells us that “Focusing was discovered when Professor Eugene Gendlin of the University of Chicago researched the question: “Why is psychotherapy helpful for some people, but not others?” He and his colleagues studied tapes of hundreds of therapy sessions and made a fascinating and important discovery: successful therapy clients had a vague, hard-to-describe inner awareness, a bodily felt sense about their problems.”

What are some examples?”

Your Focus is your belief or how you identify with who you are in the world. For example as a woman you might be identifying with your gender and possibly what your gender means to you could be holding you back from achieving what men would achieve. In feeling like the ‘weaker’ sex unconsciously, this is driving your conscious mind and body to certain actions and decisions all the time.

Of either gender, if you see yourself as being a victim, or helpless, the chances are this will be driving you to becoming a victim. Maybe on the contrary you see yourself a victor, someone with plenty opportunities and options – if this is what is going on in your unconscious mind, the chances are that you will be led to taking decisive action towards successful outcomes.

From the self comes more

Through my business Self and More I holistically deal with the practice of maintaining synergy between body mind and soul. If you are at a crossroads, feeling like you are really not where you should be it could well be that your unconscious focus is leading your mind and body astray.

Coaching utilising focusing methods could well unearth exactly where your focus lies and in so knowing redirect your path to a more positive, productive mind set –or at least greater peace of mind. So do let me help.

Remember what you see as a boulder blocking your path to fulfilment could actually become a solid stepping stone to a better life. Be mindful – and be safe! 

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