Relationships

Relationships

Hello there ….

Could you grab 5 mins a pen and paper and work through the following

What is it that you value in your relationship?  I am guessing  most people would say love and/or trust.

There are loads of other dynamics in relationships – platonic or intimate  ….here are some more …..I am sure you could make a list of your own too

  • Respect;
  • Loyalty;
  • Emotional connection;
  • Physical connection;
  • Support – on any or all levels;
  • Transparency;
  • Communication;
  • Accountability
  • Fun
  • Acknowledgement
  • Growth

Which of these elements stands out for you specifically?    What about it is important to you?

Choose one or two.

Then place them in the hierarchy of importance to you …………

The next step is up to you …..if you feel that the above elements are not present in your relationships and you  would like to make changes so that they do….give me a call …setup an appointment to explore the subject further

The relationship starts with you

Send you love and light as always

Marléne.

 

Here we are, at that time of the year once again.

Here we are, at that time of the year once again.

Wow! I cannot believe that it is this time of the year again. This year has been filled with so, so much that I am not sure where to start. Let me say that I have lived in a year were I can stand back in awe and gratitude for all I have received…so many blessings.

Some have been gift wrapped with intrigue and seemed almost like a treasure hunt on a dangerous terrain. Because of that, I had to shed some of the burden I was carrying and had to work a little harder than normal to find the gifts – some were blatantly obvious and were delivered upfront – and some came wrapped in love and warmth.

Allowing myself to be vulnerable enough to accept who I really am and truly feel those emotions I had buried so deeply, all the while admitting to myself where I am really at and to make significant changes – as some of you know I have done – is what I am most grateful for.

So I would not have had any of this without all of you. THANK YOU from the depths of my heart to each and everyone of you for your strength and bravery in your own journeys, as you have inspired me on such a deep level.  May you and your loved ones experience the true gift of love and nurturing throughout the holidays.

I am looking forward to continuing our journey together in what already looks like a whirlwind-bound-to-be-awesome 2019.

Love and light, as always,

Marléne.

Do we really listen to one another?

Do we really listen to one another?

Isn’t it true that – at some stage – we are all guilty of not listening? We have all experienced talking to someone who is clearly not listening, even when they are looking directly at us. Do we tune out? We attempt to multi-task between “listening”, texting or watching TV; that inevitably means that we are not listening when others are talking to us.

Does this sound familiar?

The Art of Listening is, in fact, a skill. That is actually good news, because it means that we can learn to listen – and be present – when the person is talking to us. And, it may be useful to know some of the reasons why we don’t listen. Here are few of the more common ones:

  • the person you are speaking to would rather do the talking – their need is greater right now;
  • Distraction. Imagine this: we can talk at 200-250 words per minute but think at 300-350. It is very easy then, when we are talking, for the other person to get distracted by their own thoughts, rehearsing in their mind what they want to say, and waiting for a gap in the conversation to get their point across;
  • the topic simply does not interest them; or
  • an emotional response could be triggered in them around the topic and they are lost in their own thoughts, or attempting to control their reaction towards you.

Do any of these ring true for you? Would you like to learn to be more present in a situation and really listen – and read when others aren’t – and how to manage that for yourself?

We have one mouth and two ears; therefore the gold is in listening twice as much as we speak.

Kind regards,

Marléne.

What if your fairy godmother were whispering to you from the future?

What if your fairy godmother were whispering to you from the future?

And what if the fairy godmother whispering to you, that voice you are hearing, was actually your wisest, smartest version of yourself?

Maybe, she would be saying, this National Woman’s month:

“Stop treating yourself as an afterthought. Eat delicious food, walk in the sunshine, jump in the ocean. Speak the truth you are carrying in your heart like a hidden treasure. Be silly, be kind, be weird. There is no time for anything else.”

And gentlemen, if the voice is coming to you, you may hear it reminding you to respect the women in your life because:

“You can feel her innocence in the form of a daughter, her care in the form of a sister. You can feel her warmth in the form of a friend and her passion in the form of a beloved. You can feel her dedication in the form of a wife, her divinity in the form of a mother and her blessing in the form of a grandmother.”

Ladies, stand up, today and every day as you speak your truth. Gentlemen, stand alongside the ladies in your life and allow them to speak their truth.

Kind regards,

Marléne.

A picture paints a thousand words

A picture paints a thousand words

Imagine a blank canvas. Create a bird’s eye view of what your life looks like right now. Does it reflect all of the “have to’s” and not so much of the “want to’s”? What if you had the freedom to paint a life of passion and excitement?!

Does that seem impossible and out of reach? What if your reality could change?

How do you get there? Let me help you explore the journey, to reach and acknowledge that you could be living a life filled with excitement and joy, and doing the things you are passionate about while still paying the bills…

If you would like to paint a different picture, we can work through the obstacles together to take the steps to live in that picture actively, daily. Speak to me, then, if this is where you find yourself now and, together, we can co-create a way to remove those obstacles.

Kind regards,

Marléne

Playing with Fire: my thoughts on burnout in this month’s Your Family Magazine.

Playing with Fire: my thoughts on burnout in this month’s Your Family Magazine.

I recently participated in an article in the June 2018 Your Family Magazine, with regards to Burnout and the contributing factors.

Here is an excerpt:

“According to the American Institute of Stress, up to 77% of people regularly experience physical symptoms of stress, with 73% regularly experiencing psychological symptoms. It’s no wonder modern society feels like this – we’re continually pushed to excel in our careers and have Pinterest-worthy family and home lives while juggling a multitude of tasks and chores.

So where does this leave most people? Burnout, the physical and/or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress, is plaguing society, leaving men and women feeling constantly fatigued, overwhelmed, exhausted (both emotionally and physically), and depressed.

Life’s problems, which are usually easily navigated, suddenly become insurmountable, everything looks bleak, and it’s difficult to find the energy to care for or help yourself. Manifestations that all contribute to the high amount of anxiety and depressive disorders are reported to be on the rise. While symptoms may be similar to those experienced during stressful situations, burnout occurs over a longer period of time and may culminate in a health disaster such as a panic attack or suicidal thoughts.”

Are you feeling constantly fatigued, overwhelmed, exhausted (both emotionally and physically) or depressed? Contact me to find about how to find sustained relief by learning to release tension and change limiting beliefs, so as to empower you to re-evaluate your priorities and adjust your life accordingly. Together, we co-create your healing journey.

The article is attached for your info.

Lots of love,

Marléne.

If the first thing you do every morning is eat a live frog…

If the first thing you do every morning is eat a live frog…

“If the first thing you do every morning is eat a live frog, nothing worse can happen to you that day”, wrote Mark Twain. In terms of our day-to-day lives, you can easily relate that frog to the most difficult item on your to-do list. Eating up that difficult – or unpleasant – item should be done first, this saying is seeming to tell us.

Avoiding a task that needs to be accomplished, or leaving a task until the “last minute” and letting panic drive it through, is called procrastination. This can take hold of any area of your life, not just a task on your daily to-do list. It may include putting off cleaning the stove, repairing a leaky roof, seeing a doctor or a dentist. You may wish to delay making a phone call that you believe will be unpleasant or breaching a stressful issue with a partner.

More importantly, for us, is this question: where does procrastination come from? What are the root causes and what can we do about it? I will be unpacking this issue this month but, if you would like to chat about your procrastination issues now, simply give me a call.

How often do you wake up feeling excited?

How often do you wake up feeling excited?

This morning I woke up excited for no reason at all. There is nothing special planned. It is not a special day. It is a normal Monday with a normal diary and normal things to do. I woke up excited, excited for what the day is going to bring. I can honestly say that I have not felt this way in years, if ever. Just excited for no rhyme or reason.

I have found a modality, QEC, which through a series of sessions over the last three months has enabled me to do that. Those benefits and more are available to you too. Contact me to set up your first session.

Silence in a world of noise (Part Two): vulnerability is not weakness.

Silence in a world of noise (Part Two): vulnerability is not weakness.

“I define vulnerability”, says Brené Brown, “as emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty.”

Vulnerability, says Dr. Brown, is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change. To create is to make something that hasn’t been there before and therein lies the vulnerability…

To really understand, to really appreciate the relationship between vulnerability and courage, to move forward to make changes and be creative, we have to talk about shame.

Shame is a focus on your inner self as a result of a self-limiting belief you formed – at a given moment in time – during your lifetime. Guilt, on the other hand, is an emotion felt and stored, based on our behaviour in a particular event.

Guilt says: “I did something bad.” Shame says: “I am bad.”

Shame is our inner voice, stopping us from doing what we want to do and being who we want to be: “I am not……………”

I have a simple process in my toolbox called QEC which is a great way to change these beliefs we have about ourselves.

See what your responses are to the following questions or statements:

Where are my beliefs holding me back? When I am forced to step out of my comfort zone, to a place that I envisage as my worst nightmare, how do I react to it? What strategies have I developed? Do I run, take substances, isolate myself, call in sick, avoid it, suggest someone else for the task or justify and rationalise? When that huge fear steps in, what happens?

What would you prefer that picture to look like if you had a magic wand?

Perhaps you are in freeze mode. You stop doing the thing you were going to do. You stop that project, that creation and that change, because you either believe you’re not good enough or you don’t think you deserve it. You limit yourself, at that point and at that time, sadly perhaps forever.

Let’s assist you to get to the point that you are able to step up in your own story at any given opportunity without the self-critic. Call me to make an appointment for an intro session. And what’s more, if you respond to this newsletter before 30 April 2018, you will receive a 15% discount for a two hour session.

Kindest regards,

Marléne

Silence in a world of noise – Part 1

Silence in a world of noise – Part 1

C.S. Lewis, in his book series The Cosmic Trilogy, refers to Earth as The Silent Planet. We who live here know otherwise.

This is a world of noise. Even when we think that we are in a place of silence and quiet, we deceive ourselves. We spend our lives being dictated to by outside stimuli: a TV left on in an adjoining room, a cell-phone demanding attention as the ‘ping’ announces another incoming message, music coming from a storefront you’ve just passed by. You don’t even realise that you can hear that 50-cycle hum in your walls – you only notice it when the power goes out and your house takes on a new kind of silence. Distant dogs barking, the squeal of tyres and a far-off police siren…we block most of this out because our brains wouldn’t handle the strain if we didn’t. Even the constant bombardment by other peoples’ problems are noise.

It was in the midst of all this that I recently took part in a Vipassana Meditation Course. I absolutely cannot tell you about this course, as it is something that you need to experience for yourself. What I can tell you is that we had to observe noble silence for a total of ten days. No external stimuli, in the form of electronics, is present. Those ten days are about silence, silence from the outside world and, in that silence, I learnt some things.

I realised that we so often talk for the sake of talking. I learnt that being silent meant that I was able to listen to myself, to ME, and I learnt to clearly hear what was okay for me and what was not. I learned about the importance of not following the pack, but that I could lead my own pack from within myself.

I know, and you know, that there is very little that we can do about the noise around us. But we can do something about how we respond to it and how we let it influence us. As Dr. Bruce Lipton said:

“Your perception of any given thing, at any given moment, can influence the brain chemistry which, in turn, affects the environment where your cells reside and controls their fate.”

The thoughts and beliefs that we carry around in our minds are so powerful in the construction of our lives – but often we simply cannot hear them, amidst the noise and the chaos. That alone is reason enough to mould those thoughts and beliefs into positive, ecological thoughts.

If you have tried to do this and realised what a long, ongoing battle it is – then call me for a session. Together, we can chat about a technique that really works to re-wire the neurons, so that the ones that fire together are the very ones that are positive.

We shall talk a little bit more about this process, and about how to find silence amongst the noise, in Part Two of this series, next month.

Maybe a truly Silent Planet is a matter of choice.

Kindest regards,

Marléne