Phew, we made it this far. It is time to prepare for and celebrate

the weeks affectionately dubbed  “the festive season.”

You have earned a well-deserved rest and joyful celebrations with family and friends. Do you work right through to avoid the festivities or by necessity?

It’s the year-end holidays for some. We are looking forward to a fantastic time. You have been dreaming of this all year long. I encourage you to be sensitive to those who may not feel so festive during the Christmas Holidays. This time of the year can be difficult or even traumatic. We do not all have family and friends around us. People are often alone or isolated and may be unable to voice their needs. 

The facts are that your family may be living or working worldwide, and there are fewer people to celebrate with. You may have yet to find someone to spend this time with! Your concern could be your finances, with all the unrealistic demands at this time of year. In the southern hemisphere, the year-end school holidays and commercialization of the Christmas period can drain most of our pockets.  This is also on the back of a couple of challenging years of transformation globally.

I’ve helped clients through these challenging times as a Trauma Release Facilitator and  Life Coach to come to terms with their emotions in any situation they find themselves in.  This allows the freedom to make different choices for themselves in the future. This may sound foreign to you. It is possible to make other choices.

Friends sharing a meal outdoors

We are all impacted by our circumstances, decisions, actions, and emotions that stem from past events. If not resolved, we re-enforce these wounds and reactions to triggers into this present moment.? Here are some more impactful examples of life-changing events that we experience in the past that have the potential to bring our lives to a grinding halt, even and especially at this time of year.

  • Divorce or breakup;
  • Abandonment;
  • Debt and financial loss;
  • Death of a loved one;
  • Disaster;
  • Retrenchment;
  • Abuse on an emotional, mental, physical, or sexual level; and/or
  • Disease or Illness.

All planned celebrations or exclusions from them may expose these raw wounds. The past comes rushing in and overwhelms you all over again.

The discomfort of being back in the family drama or the vacuum of isolation could re-traumatize us. Whether you are visiting friends/family, they’re invading your space, or you are all alone, these factors can add to your stress levels and re-open those well-hidden areas.

During the rest of the year, your emotional reactions to past traumas may “seem” well-managed and a part of everyday life. A survival response is to suppress emotions day in and day out. During the festive season, these wounds are heightened and unbearable at times. Another survival option is to run, fight or hide away. What is your choice?

Here are three simple options to manage the added stress of the festive season and those reinforced by past traumas.

Holiday image on mobile phone

Keep doing your normal activities.

Only change the activities that will truly get in the way of your quality time with loved ones. Be sure to do still the things that keep YOU grounded and things you enjoy doing. Let those who care about you know that you will continue to take loving care of yourself. This will enable you to show up for yourself and them with little or no effort.

Selfcare examples for you:

  • Take time to do your usual exercise / meditation / massage / walks on the beach or in nature;
  • Maintain your standard sleeping patterns as much as possible;
  • Include daily routines and activities that bring you peace of mind; and/or
  • Join or create a group, online or in person, if you feel alone and have no family or friends around at this time (or ever).

Your go-to place may be to continue doing the activities that let you immerse yourself in the present moment to release the anxiety of what is on the horizon.  Some habits like meditation, TRE, breathing techniques, and more allow for releasing those anxious feelings. Holidays are for getting away from it all and escaping the stresses and routine.  Thinks about including the activities that you may enjoy. If it is reading, take time to read. Do you love to cook or bake? Be available for it. Or participate in sporting activities if that is what you love to do.  Being in nature is also a way to nurture yourself and your loved ones.

Focus on what works for you.

Consider options that avoid creating or reinforcing habits that disconnect you from yourself. Such as using alcohol, drugs, sugar, and screentime or others to drown out your sorrows and pain. Using band-aids without cleaning the wound first tends to let the injury fester. This could mean you may want to make different choices this festive season. That may be uncomfortable for you and others until you decide to put yourself first unselfishly. This could be a first for you too.

Remember you are allowed to say “No” to others and “Yes” to yourself lovingly.  The people in your space may understand; if they do not, give them time to adjust to the change.  Surround yourself with those who do understand.  Never underestimate the value of a support system.

Ask for help. And help others.

Are you feeling devastated, broken, and sad because you are alone over the holidays for the first time? Or is this the norm for you? Find a cause close to your heart to contribute and bring cheer to others over this “season to be jolly.”  Helping others feeds the soul.

Whatever the trauma, emotion, or difficulty you are struggling with right now, going through it alone is unnecessary if you are prepared to take the first step and ask for help. You’re always welcome to reach out and talk to me to assist you. Are you convincing yourself it’s too late in life?  Is it too late because the festive season is upon us?  Could this be a pattern you’re holding on to that can be released?  Consider this, is there a need to carry these feelings over to the next year and relive the same trauma at the end of it?

At ‘Self and More,’ I will guide you through your process of release and renewal using modalities such as NLP,  TRE®, QEC, and Life Alignment.

Give yourself the gift and opportunity to cope with festive season trauma – and beyond.

Be safe, be present and always remember to be kind to yourself.

To my valued clients, thanks for your support throughout the year.
Much love to you, as always
Happy Holidays


Friends at Christmas

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As the New Year approaches, you’re perhaps starting to think about any adjustments you’d like to make to your life. Maybe you’re considering a change in direction, perhaps you’re looking to take part in new activities or maybe you simply wish to say goodbye to bad habits or challenges you’ve faced this year.

Creating new goals and resolutions can bring joy, inspiration, and hope, but they can also bring anxiety and apprehension.

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Where can you find me out in the world?

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Talking from the Heart is my personal blog and – three to four times a month – I write about things that are important to me, and to my world, and hopefully to your world as well. Here are two of my most recent entries.

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