Co-dependency is a very real issue often affecting many couples who may not even be aware of it. It is an addiction in itself, ironically often resulting from one person in the relationship (who we shall refer to as the ‘caregiver’) taking responsibility and caring for the other who is addicted to some sort of abusive substance.
It is far more common than many couples realise and this article aims to hopefully make those who may be in this type of relationship, or heading down this path, aware so that treatment can be sought. It is far too easy to settle into this type of relationship, but it is a toxic one and not psychologically healthy for either party.
It takes 2 to tangle!
Co-dependency comes about through both parties in the relationship having unhealthy issues and the co-dependency seems to be the easiest quick-fix giving both parties the satisfaction of continuing along their detrimental path because the addict is being supported by the caregiver, but the caregivers themselves have issues that lead to this.
The only way that an addiction can be effectively dealt with is for the addict to realise that they need and subsequently seek help to stop their substance abuse. This should be encouraged by their partner but if the caregiver has poor self-esteem or a poor self-image they prefer to be supportive of the addict as it helps them to feel that they are needed!
The old adage of the blind leading the blind is very true of this situation as both parties are blinded to the fact that they need help because the addict is being re-assured by the caregiver and the caregiver feels that they are serving some sort of noble purpose.
The many issues that arise from co-dependency include a lack of boundaries, constantly increased dependency and poor communication. In the end, nobody wins in such a relationship and it will eventually break down.
What can you do about it?
I am Marléne Nunes and through my business Self and More, have various ways that I can assist couples who have realised that they have co-dependency and other issues. I am not only a qualified Life Coach utilising highly effective techniques like Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Tension and Trauma Release Exercise (TRE), but as my more recent articles have illustrated, I am also a qualified practitioner in Life Alignment and more specifically Relationship Alignment.
It is through these techniques that I can assist you to identify and gain a broader insight into habitual responses, and as a result, break free from repetitive patterns to step forward into a more integrated, meaningful and purposeful life path.
When you are enlightened to the many ways you can use the great gifts and talents you have to better serve the world and yourself, you can break free from destructive dependencies. Don’t let addictive patterns turn to co-dependency – talk to me – I can help.