In my opinion, a large percentage of adults are walking the earth today with a wound that they have brought with them from childhood. For anyone having to deal with this, I offer a comprehensive and hands-on program to address these issues and find the support you need. What’s more, and once completing this six-part course, I have an ebook which I have written specifically on the lingering wounds of the inner child, and this book will be available to you.
It is quite comprehensive in terms of explaining the wounding of the inner child, how one recognises it, why these wounds usually linger, and assisting one to come to terms with it. In essence, whatever happened to you (or didn’t happen to you) can influence your emotional well-being and behaviour for the rest of your life if not addressed.
What this article, and the next few to follow, deal with is looking at a) how you as a parent can try to avoid this scarring in your children and b) recognising if you were invalidated as a child and if this vital role of parenting to create a supportive childhood was not present in your childhood.
NO PERFECT PARENTS
The perfect parents may be somewhere, but I have yet to discover them. As parents, we can only be the best we can be and that comes through caring enough and loving our children enough to do so. Cut yourself a little slack here and look a little deeper into your own story for the answers.
There are essentially at least three possibilities that a child can experience in their upbringing. The first is a supportive childhood with both parents being caring, loving, and supportive. That is first prize and what we can all hope to achieve.
The second is having absent parents, and this not only means having either one or both parents physically missing from their upbringing (like in the cases of divorce, death or abandonment), but parents who are absent in other ways too – like simply not being attentive to children when they need to be. The former means we may have to be up to the task of being single parents and this is entirely possible, the latter is avoidable and can be corrected with effort and the willingness to do so.
The third is having abusive parents, but that is a subject for an entirely different series.
Assuming that the child has at least one caring parent, here are a few ways that as a parent you can try to avoid your child having a childhood that will induce emotional scarring which become lingering wounds as they grow to adulthood…
The first and most basic factor is to be present in the life of the child as much as possible. This means both physically and emotionally. Be a supportive parent who listens to the child and is there for them particularly in times of stress. This gives the child security and growing up in a safe environment is key to the child’s expression and development.
ROUTINE AND CONSISTENCY
Along with security goes consistency and routine. This allows a child to have an orderly life. When chaos reigns like in the upbringing of children whose parents are themselves inconsistent, sober one day, drunk the next, present one day and not the next, just like when a child has had abusive parents, this can create scarring that will remain with the child throughout their lifetime, or at least until they come to terms with it and can move on.
I CAN HELP
We have just touched the tip of the iceberg so far, so please watch this space for part 2. Also look out for the following articles on how, as adults, we can recognise if we were invalidated as a child and turn the tables through inner healing to live meaningful, happy lives.
Through my Coaching Business Self and More, I assist people to work through the trauma which has originated from any source. Take this opportunity to talk to me and let me help guide you through any issues you feel you may still be holding on to, influencing your life now, which have originated from your childhood. Let me assist you with confidently taking on the vital role of parenting to create a supportive childhood!
As always – peace and light!