Two wounded hearts don’t make a whole one!

Two wounded hearts don’t make a whole one!

In a recent article I mentioned a trip I had recently embarked on. In that article I did not elaborate on it, but as the nature of the journey was relevant to the theme of this article, I think I should.

It was a spiritual journey – a long walk from Portugal to Spain, where the pilgrims had trodden many years ago. I set out with a friend to take a sabbatical and in my endless quest to unravel the human condition, see what I could discover about myself and others.

Many things happened on that journey and in future articles I shall probably refer to some of them to illustrate points I am trying to make. The walk was cleansing, difficult, spiritually meaningful and tiring all at once, but what an enlightening experience it was.

The backpack

One particular thing happened on the journey which I really wanted to share. I had set out with a backpack, the standard issue type and the idea was to carry no more than one tenth of one’s body weight.

Apart from the usual obvious things, like clothing and supplies, I had set out with a couple of items that I had been carrying at the request of, or which had been given as gifts from, friends at home.

Every day at the end of the days walk, being the organised and disciplined person I am (and simply because it made sense) I unpacked every item, which I had carefully individually wrapped, from the backpack and aired it.

Lighten the load

As the journey progressed I began to do a couple of things. I began to mix things up a little, not having everything individually wrapped anymore …and I began to leave some things behind, simply because it felt more comfortable when I did so.

That begged the first question for me. “How many of us have the courage to change the status quo, assess things at the end of the day and have the sense to leave some of the burdens behind?”

This is such an important principle and is seen in many of my daily reflections that I have on my website. We need to be reflecting at the end of the day on both the good and the bad and not still carrying what’s not necessary the next day.

Know when to let go

There was something else rather profound that occurred though. When the thing I had been carrying for my friend started to weigh me down I had the courage to set even that down and leave it behind.

This was magnified when a very dear friend of 40 years, who had been ill for some time, passed away whilst I was on the journey. Previously I had picked up a beautiful heart shaped stone that I carried with me as it felt like it was part of my journey..

When I heard of his passing, it was fitting to place the heart along the journey in his memory. I did so in a quiet spot that felt right and held a quiet ceremony.  It actually felt like I had released the burden..

What are you carrying for someone else?

When you care for someone there is a time for bearing the load they may want you to and taking on the extra weight, even though you know it is weighing you down. In times that you are suffering the pain of your own trauma however, you need to know that your focus has to turn back on you and you need to release that extra burden.

I have learned as an experienced Trauma Release Facilitator that being there for those who matter is noble and right but, when your own heart is breaking – let go and focus on dealing with your own pain. After all two wounded hearts don’t make a whole one!

My business Self and More focusses on the release of trauma and holistic physical and mental wellness though various body mind and soul techniques. Watch this space for more about my insightful journey and contact me if you wish to start today to take your own journey to discover your full potential! 

In difficult times – connect with yourself

In difficult times – connect with yourself

In my recent travels, I have become very much aware that no matter where we are, in the world, whatever we face, disorientation or stress, the best way to deal with it is to be truly connected with oneself.

I’m not talking about just arising and trying to orientate oneself by thinking, “ok where am I? – what is the place I’m in?” It is about always making a deep internal connection through using various body, mind and soul techniques.

Being in a different place is just one example of the stresses we experience and of course at home we face different challenges every day. My business ‘Self and more’ specialises in facilitating practices that assist people to deal with stress and trauma on many levels.

What this article is about specifically, is that all too important aspect of making time every day to truly connect with yourself. So, how are some of the ways we do this? How in difficult times, do we truly connect with ourselves?

Daily reflections

I have recently added a series of daily reflections to my website and this is an excellent way to connect inwardly. Make some time every day to read one of these reflections and meditate on it. You can do so while you sit quietly with eyes closed, while you take a peaceful walk, or do some type of passive exercise like Pilates, or even during a TRE (Trauma Release Exercises) session.

The main thing is that you look to yourself and the ways you can give yourself more peace through evolving from within. So, what are some of the things these daily reflections tell us?

Make time to take time out to reflect

Essentially we need to make time to look inwardly. This ‘me’ time is so essential if we are to maintain a balance – and in particular if we have constant stress and trauma to deal with. 

Also don’t take the stuff from today into tomorrow. Connect inwardly, deliberate on it and then let it go.

Some sort of quiet meditation, soothing exercise, a long bath or a candle lit dinner, food for inner peace and growth, should end every day.

Be cognisant that throughout the universe all things are connected and we need to be mindful to connect body, mind and soul every day to live a fulfilled life.

Make time through committed sessions

One of the best ways to ensure you commit to some time to connect with yourself, is to commit to a regular session.  Self and more offers five essential body, mind and soul activities, all of which assist us to be more in touch with ourselves and release stress and trauma. These are all inward looking practices that ultimately reveal themselves outwardly in a healthier, happier you.

The choices are Pilates and TRE, which essentially are physical practices – Life coaching, and QEC (quantum Energy Coaching), essentially mental practices developing body and mind – and Soul plan – an ancient practice that assists one to finds one’s true destiny and Tachyons and Geometric Shapes for the home

Simply connect with me – and let me help you, in difficult times – to connect with yourself!


Effective stress relief through developing body, mind and soul – Part 2

Effective stress relief through developing body, mind and soul – Part 2

Effective stress relief through developing body, mind and soul 

(Part two – mind and soul)

This is the second in a two part series highlighting the devastating effects that stress can have on us all and hopefully offering some solutions. Stress generally occurs following trauma of some sort, or just sheer pressure, as is often experienced in the workplace. This is why employers should especially be cognisant of what stress employees may be suffering and how they may be affected by it.

As I expressed in part one of this series, I believe that the healing of, or at least coping with stress, can be achieved, but only holistically. One has to take into account that stress affects us physically, mentally and in many cases even spiritually. I firmly believe therefore that effective stress relief is achieved through developing body, mind and soul.

We have dealt with the beneficial effects on the body through the practice of Pilates, a great core muscular developer and TRE, a wonderful Trauma Release Exercises therapy. To drive home my point of holistic stress relief, both these physical programs are linked to brain and mind improvement and development too.

Now to the mind and soul – let’s start with the mind and 2 areas of practice that I believe can greatly assist with stress.

Life coaching

Something I practice with individuals and groups in the workplace is Life Coaching. Essentially it is the training of the mind to let go of negative thoughts and learn to develop a positive approach and set attainable goals. This type of confidence can greatly assist with stress, as stress in the workplace in particular is closely aligned with feelings of inadequacy under pressure.

Additional benefits are numerous and include the improvement of partnerships, dispelling negative outlooks, acceptance of and trusting in yourself. Most importantly and relative to this article, is that it also teaches the power of mind and body connection.

QEC (Quantum Energy Coaching)

Staying with this body and mind connection, QEC, based in neuroscience, is a sort of gym for the mind. I work closely with my clients to generate profound and liberating behavioural change through a combination of Gestalt therapy, focussed intention, Neuroplasticity and Kinesiology, amongst others.

It’s important to note that although the effects can be profound, changing thought and behavioural patterns to replace limiting negative ones, you are fully conscious at all times and the process is quick and effortless.

From a mental point of view there is synergy between QEC and the trauma release therapy of TRE, as it focusses on improved heath, mental health (including stress) and self-worth in general. 

Soul Plan

Some find this a little left of field, but I have (through first-hand experience) seen the benefits of this little known practice of connecting the birth name, time and circumstances with the destiny of the soul and hence our own destiny.

Knowing our life’s blue print, talents and strengths assists us to have a more purposeful life and set appropriate, attainable goals. More on Soul Plan can also be found in articles I have written and on my website. The unique thing about this one is that I do not need to be present to facilitate it and it can be done entirely online.

Holistic health neutralises stress

As you can see, at self and more all that we do physically and mentally compliment and augment each other to give a totally holistic approach to self-development and self-improvement.

Contact us to learn more about our wide range of programs for individuals, private groups and companies. Let me assist you to combine one or more of the services I provide to set you, or your business, on a path to better mental and physical health and a more successful, happier life…

…and oh yes, without a doubt I can also assist you to achieve effective stress relief through developing body, mind and soul!


Effective stress relief through developing body, mind and soul – Part 1

Effective stress relief through developing body, mind and soul – Part 1

Effective stress relief through developing body, mind and soul 

(Part one – the body)

The statistics around the prevalence of stress in the workplace and indeed within the day to day lives of South Africans are really quite alarming. The results of just one research paper I read stated that over 30% of South African’s across the board had a lifetime prevalence of general disorders as a result of stress and over 15% were directly anxiety related. 

Businesses in particular are greatly affected by the stresses suffered by staff and should take heed of what can be done to relieve stress in the workplace. No doubt the research and the results vary, but I deal with creating wellness through self-development and self-improvement and I know from personal experience that most of the people I serve privately and in business have stress related issues.

I have often been asked why my business seems to offer an unusual stable of services relating to self-development. Some, like the lessor known Soul plan, seem quite far removed from others like the now commonly practiced Pilates.

The truth is that it is my belief that an evolved person and one that comfortably overcomes the effects of stress, is one that takes a physical, mental and spiritual path to wellbeing. All of these play a role and have their place. This, the first in a 2 part series ‘effective stress relief through developing body, mind and soul’ deals with the physical body. 


Practiced by millions, Pilates is a series of low impact exercises that primarily strengthen the core muscles of the abdomen, lower back, hips and thighs. It not only helps to improve physical strength, but muscular endurance, balance and flexibility. It also has the added benefits of improving posture, body sensing and mindful movement awareness.

In fact, Pilates is not just about physical well-being at all. The founder of Pilates – Joseph Hubertus Pilates, describes it as “A method of body conditioning that re-awakens and stimulates brain cells, stimulating further the functioning of the mind!” Could there be a better testament to the fact that Pilates is not only a wonderful way to get fitter, more supple and stronger, but there is a definite connection with improving the brain and the mind?

I generally only facilitate physical exercise that is linked with the brain and mind (and sometimes the soul) and as the mind too has come into play when this physical exercise is practiced, it makes sense that Pilates is a fantastic stress reliever.


I have recently written quite extensively about TRE. This is Trauma Release Exercises and in essence is a series of exercises that help the body relieve itself from deep muscular tension, trauma and stress.

There is a very definite connection between the body, mind and the spiritual in the practice of TRE. It is for this reason that I heartily recommend this in particular as a great solution for stress relief and injury.

Much stress is the result of trauma of one sort or the other, death, divorce, moving home, accidents and illness etc. These are all traumas that induce a great amount of stress and TRE is ideally suited to deal with trauma of every kind.

Let me help

These are two great ways one can relieve stress through the physical medium at self and more, as they are inextricably linked to mind improvement and trauma release. Sometimes it may take a bit more direct mind training or adjustment, or even some soul searching to produce complete stress relief though, so watch this space for part 2.

Contact me  book a consultation to evaluate your personal stress related issues and devise a program using one or more of the services I provide to give you or your business effective stress relief through developing body, mind and soul! 



Trauma release can be a pleasant experience

Trauma release can be a pleasant experience

The title of this article is in no way intended to sound flippant or underestimate the kind of emotional pain that various levels of trauma can inflict. However as is testified to in this article, trauma release can also be an experience that is pleasant and highly constructive and need not always be the arduous process that many seem to think it is.

In a previous article I spoke about TRE and this is one of the ways I believe one can experience gradual trauma release in a not unpleasant way. In that article I explained that TRE (Trauma and Tension Release Exercises) is an innovative, effective series of exercises that assist the body to release deep muscular patterns of stress, tension and trauma. It is a great stand-alone therapy and also enhances other stress relief practices like Yoga, Mindfulness and meditation.


Another process I practice that TRE couples well with is QEC or Quantum Energy Coaching. The essence of this is that we do not perform to our capabilities, but to what we believe we are capable of. We are therefore only as much as what we believe.

These beliefs are mostly harboured in the subconscious mind and so with QEC, we access limiting thoughts and change them at a subconscious level to free ourselves up to be aligned with constructive conscious goals.

I make mention of this because it is mentioned in the description of the TRE session as one of the methods that help us to experience a rise in consciousness.

The TRE workshop

A TRE workshop usually comprises a minimum of 5 sessions and is available at a very reasonable fee if the full workshop is booked in advance. Obviously trauma release is a process and not a quick fix and hence the encouragement to do the full 5 sessions.

I have been pleasantly surprised however at how beneficial even one session can be and at this point I think it prudent to let a newcomer to the class, a male who has recently experienced the trauma of moving cities after many years and then a divorce, explain his first experience in his own words…

Trauma release can be a pleasant experience

“I must be honest, I had made the decision to attend a TRE session with some trepidation, as I had really expected a kind of emotional breakdown to ensue after a long psychological grilling. Even though I was aware that it was a series of exercises that induced a muscular sensation in the body to release stress, I was wary that with a history of epilepsy I may go into some sort of out of control trance.

This could not have been further from the truth and Marlene, after a brief non-intrusive interview to ascertain my general medical condition, assured me that I would be in control at all times and she would be there to assist should I have any discomfort during the process.

I found her from the beginning of the session to be a calming and re-assuring facilitator of the process throughout. I had come into the session after a not particularly good night’s sleep feeling somewhat ‘fuzzy,’ but my apprehensions had already been dissolved and I quickly began to relax.

As we sat comfortably on our yoga mats we chatted about previous experiences and our feelings at the time. There was a senses of comradery in the room. Only a few people can attend and so it was cosy and intimate. 

Marlene then explained the ‘layers’ of trauma that are released through methods like TRE and QEC, using a chart to show the progress one can achieve from an absolute ‘frozen’ state, through a ‘flight or fight’ state of emotions like shame, guilt and grief – towards an improved state of pride, courage and acceptance – to finally achieve a state of love, joy and gratitude and ultimately excitement.

Now we were taken through a grounding process, to ensure we were in tune with our bodies and then a few very gentle exercises, just readying the body for the TRE exercises to come. Marlene now ensures that the class understand the process and shows us all how to do a ‘control’ movement if we at any time wish to stop the exercises.

The TRE exercises themselves were very simple and as one begins to feel the gentle vibrations running through parts of the body as you relax completely Marlene is at all times there. She goes from student to student, always re-assuring and ascertaining one’s comfort level.

At one brief stage, due to a personal neck injury, I felt a little muscular twinge and she was immediately there making the correct adjustment for me and remaining until I was again comfortable.

Without question, after a short period of dozing, to attain a level of total relaxation, I felt revived and totally calm. The TRE experience was for me one that I thoroughly enjoyed and do believe it can be of great benefit to anyone in a stressed condition.”

In Summary

My thanks to that student’s contribution and testimony. I hope it gives you an idea of what a TRE session actually feels like and convinces you that trauma release can be a pleasant experience.

Contact me to find out as much as you need to know about the various disciplines that Self and More facilitate- and begin your journey to discover your full potential today!