When flight is no option, fight for sensibility

When flight is no option, fight for sensibility

It has been so much spoken about and so dramatically affected our lives already that it needs no introduction.

Suffice to say the dreaded virus that has stopped most international flights, gatherings of more than 100 people in one place and grounded schoolchildren is something that we will need a very different approach to deal with.

When things go wrong in the country the more affluent South Africans are so used to having flight as an option and the poorer masses having mass action protests to fall back on, but suddenly these are no longer options. So what now?

It is a somewhat unique situation when we as a country really do need to stand together (but not too close) and face a common enemy, and the one thing we cannot afford to do is generate any form of panic or mass hysteria.

Already panic buying, as if we are facing an apocalypse, of mostly goods that we hope will offer some immunity from this illness, is showing that perhaps we have little understanding of how best to really immunise ourselves and we are allowing fear to overtake rational thought.

Irrationality as a result of fear tends to have a ripple effect and is potentially very dangerous. When the nervous system is triggered into the survival response one doesn’t think rationally. Collectively we should look at ways to create inner calm to find solutions to traumatic situations.

Immunity comes from within

One of the most commonly caused ‘psychosomatic’ illnesses is the common cold and flu. It often follows bouts of emotional or stressful events. Essentially this means that our real ‘immunity’ comes as much from within, due to our mental and emotional state, as it does from any external immune fighters.

I have always advocated and tried to stress the importance of taking some ‘me’ time to calm oneself. A quiet bath, a long walk, mind and body exercise like Pilates. Trauma/Tension Release exercises, or inward looking meditation. These are all practices that strengthen by allowing for deeper inner connection  us and make us more immune to the external forces that plague us.

The perfect time

Is this not a perfect time, when so many will need to spend more time at home alone, or with loved ones, to take advantage of ‘self’ time and time to get to know our loved ones  better? We also live in a beautiful country with wide open spaces, so we needn’t be ‘holed up’ either.

All we need do is practice what should be common place hygiene anyway and keep our distance, so why not take a drive to the bush, or a walk around the neighbourhood? Beethoven favoured “long, vigorous walks” in which he carried a pencil and blank sheet music. Let’s get creative – and build our immunity from the inside!

Self and more

Regarding my Body, soul and mind practices, which encourage one to take a holistic approach to health and wellness, I can still do one-on-one Pilates classes and small group TRE classes. We keep a safe distance from each other and practice perfect hygiene.

I can (and usually do) carry out all my other services including life and business coaching, Soul Plan and QEC (Quantum Energy Coaching) online, as well as one-on-one TRE online too. If I can be of any help to you, whether in times of crisis, or simply to help you reach a perfect state of holistic wellness, contact me and let’s talk.

Be safe, be at peace and when flight is no option, fight for sensibility!

Kind regards,

Marléne

To choose the name of ‘the other’ could affect your life!

To choose the name of ‘the other’ could affect your life!

To choose the name of ‘the other’ could affect your life!

There are possibly only a few times in your life that you will get to choose a name. Your name after all has been chosen for you at birth so that appears to be set in stone – or is it?
The times you get to choose a name would be primarily when you name a child and when – as a woman – you get married. The surname of your husband (or your significant ‘other’) is traditionally bestowed upon you, but you still get to choose whether to take it or not.

For those of you who read my article on what a ‘Soul plan’ is all about ‘What’s in a name – could be your soul plan’ you will know that many believe there is far more to your name than you realise. The challenges you will face and your personal talents are reflected in your name and by recognising these, through having a Soul plan reading, you can literally change the course of your own destiny.

The benefits are numerous and include: a greater and clearer sense of life purpose; access to yourself on a deeper level and an acceleration of growth and healing to name just a few.

Not just your name – but the name you choose

What I really want to bring to your attention in this article though, is that it is obvious from this that those around you- all your significant ‘others’ – will, by the nature of their names either compliment or possibly be very detrimental to your life, goals and well-being.

It also stands to reason that you might consider having a reading of your Spouse’s names before deciding to take that surname – and very significantly – it means that by understanding if their name can complement your life path, or not, you just may make the right decision. The study of a name other than your own in Soul plan is referred to as an ‘overlay.’

Business benefits and naming baby

The same principles can apply in business (its name can be crucial to its success) and indeed in naming your baby too. I will go into these in more detail in future articles.

Readings online or in person

Self and more Integrative Coaching  is a practice that combines many disciplines to create a holistic program of nurturing body, mind and soul. ‘Soul plan’ is just one of the ways I assist people to release trauma and through introspection and self-awareness, achieve a calmer, more meaningful, more purposeful life. 

Contact me to learn more about you and your personal challenges, or to book a Soul plan reading. R1 200 for an individual reading only – or for a group R850 for the initial reading and R250 for each ‘overlay.’ Take care of yourself!

Good advice on preparing for the holiday madness!

Good advice on preparing for the holiday madness!

Prior to the festive season I am writing on a couple of subjects that relate to the all too common ‘breakdowns’ that occur prior to the holidays – and why so often the holidays end up being more stressful than your work.

How often have you heard people say “I’ve got family visiting for Christmas and I’m really not looking forward to it” or “After that holiday I need a holiday!” These are common year end problems and they really can be avoided, both in the preparation for and during your own family holiday.

Before 

Invariably, prior to embarking on the family holiday, instead of planning a stress free vacation, common sense is thrown to the wind and the stresses of the year simply continue into what should be a time of calm and rest.

Remember the body needs to unwind from the build-up of stress through the year. My last article spoke of the illnesses and pain that often result just before the holidays from a year of unchecked stress …and sometimes once the holiday hits, as the adrenaline runs out, the body goes into a shock response and simply breaks down.

Prior to the holiday, why not de-stress with a few TRE sessions? TRE is becoming massively popular as a form of stress and trauma release …and preparing the mind for things to come. Remember being away on holiday, or having family around who are not normally there, puts you out of your comfort zone, so rather be ready for it.

Ensure that you make a decision to plan a holiday that is within your financial means too. So many say, “Oh well, it’s the holiday we‘ll worry about it in the new-year.” The reality is you will spend most of the holiday worrying about it and just give yourself a great stress trigger when you start a brand new year. Rather have a shorter, stress free holiday – you’ll get more out of it.

During

So, having de-stressed a little prior to going away …and going where you can afford to, you are making a good start. To ensure the whole holiday is one that really benefits you and your family, try to arrange that everyone gets some ‘me’ time. I can’t stress the importance of this enough.

The time you spend together as a family is precious, embrace it and be grateful for it, but for everyone to really de-stress, they all need a little time of their own. Arrange for kids to spend some time not under your supervision, giving them a little time away from you, whilst you and your partner enjoy a romantic evening or activity together.

Arrange with each other to take turns being with the kids (one on one time with each parent is good for the kids too) and on your own, take a walk, read a favourite book or take a relaxing bath after the kids are in bed.

Even if you are home and have family visiting, arrange some outings for them that leave you with some time for yourself too. It is so important that you use your holiday time to refresh and revive yourself too. Make a choice to holistically invigorate your body, mind and soul – and stick to it.

…and beyond

My business, Self and More is essentially about combining body, mind and soul disciplines to de-stress and enhance your life. We live in difficult times and the demands on us are great. Life happens too, trauma that we tend to brush under the carpet, only to find it manifests itself at the most unexpected times. The holiday are a typical example – no longer wound up in self protect mode, we suddenly lash out at others.

Don’t let it happen to you. Contact me to find your true inner self …and so much more.

I am truly grateful for my loyal supportive clients and I hope I have been as much of a blessing to you. To you and your loved ones I wish you calm, health and inner peace throughout the next decade – Happy Holidays!

Year-end breakdown – how we can avoid it

Year-end breakdown – how we can avoid it

They say the human body clock actually increases as we age. Fact or fiction I don’t know, but every year does seem to pass more rapidly. As we near another year end I felt it prudent to do a couple of articles on year end breakdown and coping with the holidays, which for some is in itself stressful!

So what is year-end breakdown? …and how can we avoid it?

It has come to my attention as a body and mind wellness facilitator (and I am backed up by Doctor and Physiotherapist colleagues) that numbers of people suffering from neck, back problems and nervous breakdown, seem to increase as we get near to the holiday season.

Why does it happen?

Prior to the holidays the years’ work and stress build up basically takes its toll, especially on those who have allowed work to engulf them and have not paid sufficient attention to their health …or themselves.

Lack of regular exercise, meditation and ‘me’ time, all augment working relentlessly to meet deadlines and these tend to  take their toll when we realise we are close to the time when we will be able to let go and relax.

It’s kind of like a marathon runner who ‘hits the wall’ just as they near the finish line! The body gets to a point of rejecting this build-up of over exertion and simply quits before you are ready for it to.

Apart from the build-up problem you also encounter many people who have created a kind of adrenaline dependency. Endorphins is what keeps them going. Just like the famous Duracell Bunny, they are wound up so tight, they keep running on clockwork …and in many cases it’s medical drugs that stimulate and keep them running.  

So they go on holiday and start to relax and the body has a lack of adrenaline shock response. Suddenly, they breakdown when faced with living a normal life for a short period ….no more batteries to run on!

Stress denies logic

The problem is that the more stressed we are, the less we are able to decide between what we think we should be doing and what we really need to do! You simply can’t decide to let go, even knowing the ultimate consequences of allowing the stress build up. Pretty much a ‘catch 22’ situation – the more stressed you are, if you don’t release it, the more stressed you become – ultimate result – burn out and pain!

Some solutions

Firstly accept that stress is the cause and then you have to determine to change things. This means making a firm decision to decide that you are going to focus on what you know you need and not just what you think you have to do.

The self

My business – Self and more, was so named because ultimately focus on the self is really the only way to overcome the stresses of the world. Even if it is necessary, due to the nature of your job, to endure some stress, you can cope with it through what I believe most in ….making time for yourself.

This can be achieved through more quality sleep, quiet meditation and regular exercise, which can be very passive, like TRE or Pilates, these focus on stress release and body and mind synchronicity. Even do things as simple as taking a long quiet bath and relaxing not only the body, but especially the mind.

If you don’t have time for that at least, then you are simply allowing your work life to dominate your real aim, which like everyone else is to live a long, happy life. If you have one New Year’s resolution, it should be to focus on your ‘me’ time.

Stop pressing the ‘I have to do more’ repeat button every morning in the New Year and adopt a strategy that gives you some regular time for body, mind and soul. Contact me and let me help.

To all my loyal clients, let me extend a heartfelt thanks for your support and I wish you not only happy holidays, but a new decade of peace, serenity, strength and most of all, many reasons to be grateful. Gratitude itself is a powerful tonic!

Can you still effectively lead when trauma strikes?

Can you still effectively lead when trauma strikes?

Trauma and traumatic events are not selective. They are not specifically assigned to the meek or the mighty, the rich or the poor, the weak or the strong. Top Executives, people in powerful positions, top leaders are all subjected at some time or another to their own traumatic events.

The question I am posing is “can you still effectively lead when trauma strikes?” Not all leaders are in a position to take time off after going through divorce, suffering a death in the family, recovering from illness or an accident etc. …or worse still, there are many leaders who rather choose to simply ignore that anything has happened to them, because they are being depended on. Stiff upper lip and all that!

Probably the worst thing you can do, if you want to continue to be effective, is try to ignore that anything has happened. As a specialist Trauma Release Facilitator I have dealt with enough of these situations to hopefully offer a little more insight…

Recognise the problem

To ignore the effects of trauma on and in  your own body and mind is potentially inviting a retroactive scenario when one day you simply can no longer cope, break down and henceforth become potentially totally ineffective as a leader, or even a balanced human individual in all the roles you occupy. Recognise that what you have had to face is a problem that you need to deal with.

Accept that there is pain

Face the situation – understand that you have a problem and are suffering pain. Realise that this is not only something you need to deal with, but those you lead can be adversely affected by the poor decisions or erratic behaviour that you may now exhibit.

Avoid the pressure cooker effect!

As I alluded to already, the suppression of pain can ultimately lead to the ‘pressure cooker’ effect. You are stewing inside day after day, until that one day comes when the lid blows off. Somebody, maybe a whole team, a whole company …or a whole country is subjected to the steam you’re blowing off and the effects can be devastating.

…or hibernation…

I have a favourite analogy about what often occurs in these situations …even if you are not stewing, you may be like a big old bear that just decides to sleep it off through the winter. You see this as season that shall pass and just go into a kind of mental coma.

The problem is when you finally wake up to your reality, you’re so hungry you are ready to kill to be fed the nourishment that you should have had all along. What can I say? …pressure cooker, or hibernation, both are simply delaying facing your pain head on and dealing with it.

There is no separation from pain

The body and mind are designed to create pain as a warning signal that something is amiss, whether it is physically or emotionally. Just as when we have a physical injury we have to face up to and treat pain, so does the individual who has suffered trauma.

It may sound ridiculous to some, but emotional pain only begins to subside when we embrace it, understanding that we cannot be separated from it. Your body and mind operate as one entity, they cannot be separated, regardless of where pain has chosen to strike.

I can help

I have, through my business Self and More, assisted hundreds of people to deal with trauma and achieve a holistic balance of body and mind through passive, effective, constructive techniques. Let me assist you, as a leader, to continue to lead effectively in a time of crisis.

No-one needs to suffer in silence, or try to be an island, by doing so you are simply disconnecting with the very people you need to be strong for. As a leader, you know that you need to keep your enemies close and engage them face to face.

When offered a ‘fight or flight’ option great leaders don’t flee …When the pain of trauma is your enemy, contact me and let’s fight it together.

Kind regards,

Marléne