It is certainly a nice idea and offers many a chance to either pursue someone who may not yet know how you feel – or for most of us it’s a time to remind our loved ones that we do really care. 

It always gets me thinking though, I wonder how many of us make a point, not only in this month of love but at any time, to remind our children how much we love and care for them? I also wonder how many children there are who see all this going on, whom themselves feel very unloved? 

These, sadly are the children that I have been referring to in my last several articles who have been wounded or traumatised as children due to their parent’s lack of love, attention and/or understanding and ultimately are in adulthood those who suffer ‘the lingering wounds of the inner child’ (The title of my e-book on the subject.)    

Can we re-parent our wounded inner child?

The critical questions I asked in my last article – Inner Re-parenting Can Save The Wounded Inner Child – were, ‘’Can I re-parent my inner child myself – or is it too late? – ‘’Is it possible to have a second chance (or do-over) by reconnecting with the inner child and assuming the role of the parent I should have had?’’ and some others”.   

Fortunately, the answers were that we certainly can, and I gave just a few basic tips to try to inspire you to go further, which were to meet yourself again, re-parent yourself by revalidating yourself and examining if you, as a parent to yourself, could have possibly avoided the inner trauma that you suffered as a child.

I promised in this follow-up piece to talk more about re-parenting, how it works and what forms it takes. So, now the question becomes ‘’How do I re-parent my wounded inner child?’’

How does re-parenting work?

One should not think that the only way to re-parent is via your own parents, in fact, this is often counter-productive if the parents are not willing to do it or are not able to carry it out effectively.

It is better to have an objective facilitator to go through the process with you and learn to do it yourself. The therapist or facilitator assumes the role of the parent. The facilitator (in this case me), will teach you various life skills so that the child within you can learn to live productively as an adult in the world.

What forms does re-parenting take?

While re-parenting may seem to be pretty straightforward, there are several different methods and forms of it which are…

• Total Regression
• Time-Limited Regression
• Spot Reparenting
• Self-Reparenting

The first 3 are generally carried out with the assistance of Psychotherapists, but it is the fourth and most popular one which we are referring to here and of which I am a facilitator. I will assist you to learn more about the wounded child in you and re-parent yourself whenever the need arises until you feel you have overcome your lingering wounds.

Let me help

If this has convinced you that you can re-parent your inner child but need more guidance to reveal your inner issues around this and learn more about how to re-parent your inner child – I can help.

Through my business Self and More, I am offering a 6-week program to help people who wish to go deeper with the inner child work and gain more clarity on re-parenting. The program involves taking certain steps to ultimately get to know and love your inner child and effectively re-parent your inner child so that you can feel you are someone of value, who loves yourself and is poised for a meaningful life of purpose without the inner turmoil that has dogged you for so long.

As a part of the program, I will be giving away my E-book on ‘The lingering wounds of the inner child’ and if you watch this space there will be more ways you can obtain it by continuing to follow my articles and engaging with some of my excellent trauma-releasing programs.

Contact me to let me know if you are keen to join the program or for any issues with which you feel I can help you. That is my life’s purpose and I’m always here for you.

Light and especially love – for those you love and especially yourself!

Marléne

Where can you find me out in the world?

Talking from the Heart is my personal blog and – three to four times a month – I write about things that are important to me, and to my world, and hopefully to your world as well. Here is one of my most recent entries.

I wanted to share something with you today that I’ve come to understand about myself and how I make decisions. As we all know, life can be full of choices, and knowing which path to take can be challenging. But I’ve realized that our intuition is our best guide and that gut feeling or inner voice tells us what feels right and doesn’t.

You can follow me on Instagram and see all of my updates, news and views, and videos on subjects and issues applicable to our daily lives.

All of my programs and services can be viewed here, and you can easily book for any of these.

For the latter part of last year, I focused very much on the inner child in my writings and the wounded inner child in particular.

We looked at various ways that the inner child in all of us can be traumatised or wounded as we more commonly call it and why these wounds often continue into adulthood.

This spawned my e-book – ‘The lingering wounds of the inner child’ which I now offer as a resource to all who require it and particularly those who consult with me on this issue. My writings then went on to talk about the vital importance of parenting and how so much of the wounding of the inner child results from inadequate or poor parenting, whether intentional or unconsciously, and they culminated towards the end of the year with an article that beckoned you to ask yourself ‘’Are you wounded due to childhood parenting issues?’’ 

Inner parenting could be a solution

Now, as we stand on the threshold of a brand new year I hope to offer more guidance to all who believe they are victims of being wounded as a child and of course some solutions too. Although articles can never replace the efficacy of personalised one-on-one consultations I hope they at least lead to awareness and the questioning of one’s own specific issues to ascertain if consultation with me would be beneficial.

The questions that this, and possibly follow-up articles, will examine are ‘’Can I re-parent my inner child myself – or is it too late? – ‘’Is it possible to have a second chance (or do-over) by reconnecting with the inner child and assuming the role of the parent I should have had?’’ We have identified the wounds within and spoken about the role of the parent externally, now can we re-meet and re-parent ourselves to learn to love ourselves again?

Fortunately, the answer is yes, we can, and although it is a big subject and it may be an extensive journey that will require the assistance of a trained trauma facilitator here are just a few basic tips to inspire you to go further…

Meet yourself

It is important to go back to your childhood and utilise whatever aids may assist you, your memories, old photographs etc. Try to get to know yourself again through meditation and taking quiet time with your thoughts.

Re-parent yourself

Imagine you are meeting yourself again but this time as the parent, a parent who is loving, attentive reassuring and who understands you. Revalidate yourself, reminding yourself that you are special and important and even if your parents couldn’t see this the parent you are now can.

Examine yourself

Be brutally honest about things that upset and disturb you now – or behaviours that you have never fully understood. Do any of these feelings of anger, rejection, addiction, sadness or helplessness relate to this child you are meeting again? Think about how you, as a parent, could have possibly avoided this and speak to your inner child about it as a loving parent would have. 

Let me help

This is just an introduction, so watch this space for more on what re-parenting is, how it works and what forms it takes. In the meantime, if you can identify with this and believe you can benefit from my extensive experience in this field I would love to help you examine it further. I offer several ways, through my business Self and More, for you to begin to heal from the wounding of the inner child and obtain some useful free resources like my aforementioned e-book. 

One of these is to embark on my ‘Life alignment’ program, but there are many others and you need only watch this space for more opportunities in 2023 to get the e-book and begin a journey that can give your life, peace, meaning and purpose. Contact me – I am always here to help.

Be safe, be present and always remember to be kind to yourself.

Love and light, as always,

Marléne

My Special Offers

Get clear on what truly lights you up in 2023, with Life Alignment.

In 2023 there is no need for a new you.

The person you are right now is good enough, but you can be better when you free yourself from the past and welcome more joy into your life.

Gift yourself (or someone else) the opportunity to set your New Year’s intentions with Life Alignment.

Unlock your best life in 2023 with a Soul Plan Reading.

As the New Year has begun, you’ve perhaps started to think about any adjustments you’d like to make to your life. Maybe you’re considering a change in direction, perhaps you’re looking to take part in new activities or maybe you simply wish to say goodbye to bad habits or challenges you’ve faced this year.

Creating new goals and resolutions can bring joy, inspiration, and hope, but they can also bring anxiety and apprehension.

But what if there was another way…

What if there was a way to discover your life’s true purpose?

A Soul Plan Reading can set you on the right path.

Where can you find me out in the world?

Talking from the Heart is my personal blog and – three to four times a month – I write about things that are important to me, and to my world, and hopefully to your world as well. Here is one of my most recent entries.

I started this Blog a little over a year ago, in 2021, and I wanted to be more active on it, bearing my soul. With the year I have experienced, I now understand that I have only been scratching at the surface. My initial purpose was to share my journey and create a space of possibility for myself and knowing that someone else out there will resonate.  It seems very apt, though, that I only share when I am ready to “Talk from my heart.”

Carry on reading here.

You can follow me on Instagram and see all of my updates, news and views, and videos on subjects and issues applicable to our daily lives.

All of my programs and services can be viewed here, and you can easily book for any of these.

Phew, we made it this far. It is time to prepare for and celebrate

the weeks affectionately dubbed  “the festive season.”

You have earned a well-deserved rest and joyful celebrations with family and friends. Do you work right through to avoid the festivities or by necessity?

It’s the year-end holidays for some. We are looking forward to a fantastic time. You have been dreaming of this all year long. I encourage you to be sensitive to those who may not feel so festive during the Christmas Holidays. This time of the year can be difficult or even traumatic. We do not all have family and friends around us. People are often alone or isolated and may be unable to voice their needs. 

The facts are that your family may be living or working worldwide, and there are fewer people to celebrate with. You may have yet to find someone to spend this time with! Your concern could be your finances, with all the unrealistic demands at this time of year. In the southern hemisphere, the year-end school holidays and commercialization of the Christmas period can drain most of our pockets.  This is also on the back of a couple of challenging years of transformation globally.

I’ve helped clients through these challenging times as a Trauma Release Facilitator and  Life Coach to come to terms with their emotions in any situation they find themselves in.  This allows the freedom to make different choices for themselves in the future. This may sound foreign to you. It is possible to make other choices.

We are all impacted by our circumstances, decisions, actions, and emotions that stem from past events. If not resolved, we re-enforce these wounds and reactions to triggers into this present moment.? Here are some more impactful examples of life-changing events that we experience in the past that have the potential to bring our lives to a grinding halt, even and especially at this time of year.

• Divorce or breakup;
• Abandonment;
• Debt and financial loss;
• Death of a loved one;
• Disaster;
• Retrenchment;
• Abuse on an emotional, mental, physical, or sexual level; and/or
• Disease or Illness.

All planned celebrations or exclusions from them may expose these raw wounds. The past comes rushing in and overwhelms you all over again.

The discomfort of being back in the family drama or the vacuum of isolation could re-traumatize us. Whether you are visiting friends/family, they’re invading your space, or you are all alone, these factors can add to your stress levels and re-open those well-hidden areas.

During the rest of the year, your emotional reactions to past traumas may “seem” well-managed and a part of everyday life. A survival response is to suppress emotions day in and day out. During the festive season, these wounds are heightened and unbearable at times. Another survival option is to run, fight or hide away. What is your choice?

Here are three simple options to manage the added stress of the festive season and those reinforced by past traumas.

Keep doing your normal activities.

Only change the activities that will truly get in the way of your quality time with loved ones. Be sure to do still the things that keep YOU grounded and things you enjoy doing. Let those who care about you know that you will continue to take loving care of yourself. This will enable you to show up for yourself and them with little or no effort.

Selfcare examples for you:

• Take time to do your usual exercise / meditation / massage / walks on the beach or in nature;
• Maintain your standard sleeping patterns as much as possible;
• Include daily routines and activities that bring you peace of mind; and/or
• Join or create a group, online or in person, if you feel alone and have no family or friends around at this time (or ever).

Your go-to place may be to continue doing the activities that let you immerse yourself in the present moment to release the anxiety of what is on the horizon.  Some habits like meditation, TRE, breathing techniques, and more allow for releasing those anxious feelings. Holidays are for getting away from it all and escaping the stresses and routine.  Thinks about including the activities that you may enjoy. If it is reading, take time to read. Do you love to cook or bake? Be available for it. Or participate in sporting activities if that is what you love to do.  Being in nature is also a way to nurture yourself and your loved ones.

Focus on what works for you.

Consider options that avoid creating or reinforcing habits that disconnect you from yourself. Such as using alcohol, drugs, sugar, and screentime or others to drown out your sorrows and pain. Using band-aids without cleaning the wound first tends to let the injury fester. This could mean you may want to make different choices this festive season. That may be uncomfortable for you and others until you decide to put yourself first unselfishly. This could be a first for you too.

Remember you are allowed to say “No” to others and “Yes” to yourself lovingly.  The people in your space may understand; if they do not, give them time to adjust to the change.  Surround yourself with those who do understand.  Never underestimate the value of a support system.

Ask for help. And help others.

Are you feeling devastated, broken, and sad because you are alone over the holidays for the first time? Or is this the norm for you? Find a cause close to your heart to contribute and bring cheer to others over this “season to be jolly.”  Helping others feeds the soul.

Whatever the trauma, emotion, or difficulty you are struggling with right now, going through it alone is unnecessary if you are prepared to take the first step and ask for help. You’re always welcome to reach out and talk to me to assist you. Are you convincing yourself it’s too late in life?  Is it too late because the festive season is upon us?  Could this be a pattern you’re holding on to that can be released?  Consider this, is there a need to carry these feelings over to the next year and relive the same trauma at the end of it?

At ‘Self and More,’ I will guide you through your process of release and renewal using modalities such as NLP,  TRE®, QEC, and Life Alignment.

Give yourself the gift and opportunity to cope with festive season trauma – and beyond.

Be safe, be present and always remember to be kind to yourself.

To my valued clients, thanks for your support throughout the year.
Much love to you, as always
Happy Holidays

Marléne

My Special Offers

Get clear on what truly lights you up in 2023, with Life Alignment.

In 2023 there is no need for a new you.

The person you are right now is good enough, but you can be better when you free yourself from the past and welcome more joy into your life.

Gift yourself (or someone else) the opportunity to set your New Year’s intentions with Life Alignment.

Unlock your best life in 2023 with a Soul Plan Reading.

As the New Year approaches, you’re perhaps starting to think about any adjustments you’d like to make to your life. Maybe you’re considering a change in direction, perhaps you’re looking to take part in new activities or maybe you simply wish to say goodbye to bad habits or challenges you’ve faced this year.

Creating new goals and resolutions can bring joy, inspiration, and hope, but they can also bring anxiety and apprehension.

But what if there was another way…

What if there was a way to discover your life’s true purpose?

A Soul Plan Reading can set you on the right path.

Where can you find me out in the world?

Talking from the Heart is my personal blog and – three to four times a month – I write about things that are important to me, and to my world, and hopefully to your world as well. Here are two of my most recent entries.

You can follow me on Instagram and see all of my updates, news and views, and videos on subjects and issues applicable to our daily lives.

All of my programs and services can be viewed here, and you can easily book for any of these.